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Damn, you’re smart. So smart of you to click on this article. It was totally your decision and definitely had nothing to do with things like SEO optimization or psychological manipulation or the fact that I am obviously a reputable source because I have a blog.
You’re here to learn how to write an ultimate guide. And the first thing you must learn is that you need to tell your reader why they’re even there in the first fucking place. (Oooh, see, I swore! That means I don’t give a shit. There, I did it again! I must really know what I’m talking about.)
Relate to your audience on a level that says, “Hey. You’re probably human. Here’s a problem you definitely have because you clicked on this article, didn’t you? You probably have 20 other tabs open dedicated to this problem. Well, guess what, losers, this is the last tab you’ll ever have to open!”
They’ll be oh so grateful that you feel their #struggle and think that you’re some sort of wizard for figuring out that they had this exact #struggle.
…Also, don’t use #s. It’s presumptuous at this point.
Now, after you establish common ground and your absolute mastery of what ails your reader, tell them what you’re going to tell them. Why would you tell them what you’re going to tell them? Because life-hack humans love to…
